today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post
me: *bends my arm a little n my arm muscle bulges slightly* holy shit. look at that msucle. im so ripped. watch out world……i im the new jojo joestar here
To all those 12.9 year-olds on Tumblr,
I think we all know where you really belong:
I think you should shut the fuck up
we RP smut. I do it all the fucking time.
We write fanfics.
We love yuri and yaoi.
We have dirty minds.
Looks like we misjudged those 12.9 year olds.
IF YOU DO NOT REBLOG THIS A SKELETON WILL SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE AN ELABORATE SANDWICH AND USE THE SAME EXACT KNIFE FOR EVERY CONDIMENT WITHOUT CLEANING IT OFF
THIS VIDEO WAS SO SATISFYING
This gives me life
How music changed from 2000-2013.
i feel so fucking old right now…
Anyone else notice how more songs were in a minor key at the beginning of the video?
it wasn’t me is from 2000? i didn’t know that
a transgender person has a child
they are now transparent
I almost thought there was gonna be something mean at the end of that. Nope. Just a pun
how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.
like isn’t just like having sex idgi?
This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.
In the first stage, man and sword become one and each other.
In the next stage, the sword resides not in the hand, but in the heart.
You’re A Hazard, Harry
I am still thinking about this
Actually, the fruit of a tree is technically a reproductive organ, since it holds the tree’s seeds and all.
So, it wouldnt be cannabalism, you’d kinda be feeding them their own semen.
I’VE BEEN DRINKING APPLE CUM??
okay now i’ll reblog it
sorry I just wanted to point out that since fruit hold the seeds/ovules they’re technically ovaries and so you’re not drinking apple cum you’re drinking ovary blood
apple semen would be pollen from apple trees and it would just be powdery and awful
You’re really passionate about apples
Actually since fruit is fertilized eggs, you’re drinking liquefied apple fetus.
liquefied apple fetus.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WORSE, APPLE PERIOD BLOOD, APPLE SEMEN OR LIQUEFIED APPLE FETUSES.
Can we just talk about this post for a moment…
HOW DOES THIS KEEP GETTING WORSEwell this escalated quickly from worse to horrifying
This is why I dont tell people I have a Tumblr.