poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

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today on satan makes a blog post

mickeyriku:

me: *bends my arm a little n my arm muscle bulges slightly* holy shit. look at that msucle. im so ripped. watch out world……i im  the new jojo joestar here 

n0ell333:

theargylegargoyle:

death-by-anime:

To all those 12.9 year-olds on Tumblr,

I think we all know where you really belong:

image

I think you should shut the fuck up

we RP smut. I do it all the fucking time.

We write fanfics.

We love yuri and yaoi.

We have dirty minds.

Looks like we misjudged those 12.9 year olds.

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im dying

bogleech:

IF YOU DO NOT REBLOG THIS A SKELETON WILL SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE AN ELABORATE SANDWICH AND USE THE SAME EXACT KNIFE FOR EVERY CONDIMENT WITHOUT CLEANING IT OFF

ennish:

deneuveing:

lyrafay:

ask-queen-mikasa:

homosexual-titan:

THIS VIDEO WAS SO SATISFYING

This gives me life

How music changed from 2000-2013. 

i feel so fucking old right now…

Anyone else notice how more songs were in a minor key at the beginning of the video?

it wasn’t me is from 2000? i didn’t know that

just-a-little-stump:

trauntwave:

a transgender person has a child

they are now transparent

I almost thought there was gonna be something mean at the end of that. Nope. Just a pun

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

In the first stage, man and sword become one and each other.
In the next stage, the sword resides not in the hand, but in the heart.

lolshtus:

You’re A Hazard, Harry

lolshtus:

You’re A Hazard, Harry

jaxthebum:

hunting-the-hell-hounds:

soloontherocks:

iwannaforgettheworld:

senpaiexpress:

the-darkmortaldevices:

gallifrey-feels:

mellieforyellie:

scarvenrot:

mooneymannyinthesky:

yukitalia:

8oo:

youregoingtolovemynuts:

dysphorism:

I am still thinking about this

Actually, the fruit of a tree is technically a reproductive organ, since it holds the tree’s seeds and all.
So, it wouldnt be cannabalism, you’d kinda be feeding them their own semen.

I’VE BEEN DRINKING APPLE CUM??



okay now i’ll reblog it

sorry I just wanted to point out that since fruit hold the seeds/ovules they’re technically ovaries and so you’re not drinking apple cum you’re drinking ovary blood
apple semen would be pollen from apple trees and it would just be powdery and awful

You’re really passionate about apples

Actually since fruit is fertilized eggs, you’re drinking liquefied apple fetus.

liquefied apple fetus.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WORSE, APPLE PERIOD BLOOD, APPLE SEMEN OR LIQUEFIED APPLE FETUSES.

Can we just talk about this post for a moment…

HOW DOES THIS KEEP GETTING WORSE

well this escalated quickly from worse to horrifying

This is why I dont tell people I have a Tumblr.

jaxthebum:

hunting-the-hell-hounds:

soloontherocks:

iwannaforgettheworld:

senpaiexpress:

the-darkmortaldevices:

gallifrey-feels:

mellieforyellie:

scarvenrot:

mooneymannyinthesky:

yukitalia:

8oo:

youregoingtolovemynuts:

dysphorism:

I am still thinking about this

Actually, the fruit of a tree is technically a reproductive organ, since it holds the tree’s seeds and all.

So, it wouldnt be cannabalism, you’d kinda be feeding them their own semen.

I’VE BEEN DRINKING APPLE CUM??

okay now i’ll reblog it

sorry I just wanted to point out that since fruit hold the seeds/ovules they’re technically ovaries and so you’re not drinking apple cum you’re drinking ovary blood

apple semen would be pollen from apple trees and it would just be powdery and awful

You’re really passionate about apples

Actually since fruit is fertilized eggs, you’re drinking liquefied apple fetus.

liquefied apple fetus.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WORSE, APPLE PERIOD BLOOD, APPLE SEMEN OR LIQUEFIED APPLE FETUSES.

Can we just talk about this post for a moment…

HOW DOES THIS KEEP GETTING WORSE

well this escalated quickly from worse to horrifying

This is why I dont tell people I have a Tumblr.